Addiction

I)

The sky starts to rain with wants and needs and fears and dreams and harms and pasts, the world full of puddles you try to avoid but step into anyway. The trees become monsters with leafy tenticles and houses turn into beasts with window eyes and door mouths and chimneys full of angry smoke, and they chase you as they sway in the winds of change, the buildings shaking off their platforms and the plants uprooting and floating in a dirt tornado.

You are alone.

There is one escape, (there are more, but this one is the easiest), extremely dangerous, harming, going against the grain of normal, against the grain of proper methods, proper planning (even though it can be properly planned). It is a killer. It kills the inside out, like a disease.

But you do it anyway. And it works.

again
again
and again again again

until it turns in to the beast you were trying to run from all along.


II)

You try and try and fail but try again (or do you?) to control the monster within you by ignoring its hungry cries; the times go on like camera flashes one after another until you just have to close your eyes and sit down (giving in to the small voice in your head)

and lose your composure and let the monster play.

This was dangerous, harming, going against the grain of normal, against the grain of proper methods, proper planning (even though it can be properly planned). It is a killer. It kills the inside out, like a disease

and now it roams free, sparking the brain with high every time you let him out and regret letting him back in, (but you have to before you lose you life, only pretending to realize this) as you dimly float away on your cloud, thinking you can fly.